Known and Suspected Violations

Here is a list of known and suspected violations against my The Film Scenes blog since I first shared my scripts online in 2007. All offenses against my copyright will be punished to the full extent of the law. Suspected violations are distinguished by a question mark, unless following a known violation requesting knowledge of the specific violator, such as with a phrase like, stolen by TV - NBC? or stolen by NBC - SNL? (No known or suspected violations to this blog as of January 2017.)
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© 2017. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Impertinence Quotient

Okay class, we've examined existentialism, touched on totalitarianism, and dabbled in disestablimentarianism, and now it's time for the most important philosophy of all: elitism. As my students, you are the intellectual superiors of all others. If you are in a relationship with someone outside of this lecture room, you must terminate it now. Such people can only hold you back...
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© 2011. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

The Film Scenes One Liners

Tuesday, January 31, 2012 Brainstorm You can calm storms, too, if you're patient and don't mind getting wet. Next time there's a rainstorm, go outside and hold your hands up and tell that storm to 'stop!'. It might take a few hours - or a few weeks if you live in Vancouver - but eventually that storm will obey you. Wednesday, January 25, 2012 National Dyslexic I met a couple of girls last night from the Australian Alps. Funny, they didn't have English accents. They sounded French. And they said they didn't know how to water-ski either. Monday, January 23, 2012 Slim Compensation One advantage of prolonged hunger is that it takes the smell out of your gas. There isn't anything left in your intestines to taint it. (But it can still be noisy.) Marriages of Convenience I respect the sanctity of marriage. 'What God hath put together, let no man put asunder.' That's why if I ever do it with a married woman, it will only be as a friend. Thursday, January 19, 2012 Driveway Star I wonder if my car wasn't sabotaged sometimes. The way it died on me soon after I bought it seems mysterious. Wednesday, January 18, 2012 Waste of Time It's funny how others thought I had 'come down in the world' by accepting a position in the entertainment industry as a forklift driver. At the time, I thought it was a step up. Before that, I worked in a waste management facility. Monday, January 16, 2012 Roll With the Punches Hip-hop artists, if you are making people happy with what you do, I don't want to take that away. But I have four words to help you understand why I have a personal dislike of your genre: KNEEL TO THE POWER!
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© 2012. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Not On My Life

I wasn't trying to look like an ass when I said not to use my life in a movie unless you include me in the production. I was just angry because movies have endings and my life isn't over yet. Didn't mean to be offensive or anything.
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© 2012. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Faith and Cope

You know, if you really want to think ahead, you should think ahead to the moment of your death. People who have real faith in God trust that this life and every horror that happens here is only passing. And they only worry about the afterlife. But people who have no faith in God worry about next week or next year instead.
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© 2012. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

On the Bright Side

You know why the sun's out today, everyone, right? It's because I have money. I could have ranted about another hassle today, but I just laugh them off now. They never bring me any serious physical harm and I'm so used to them that they might even help me feel normal. I need to take some time off from blogging to focus on my growing repertoire. Before I go, I just have one last thing to say. It won't matter that I don't floss when I get my porcelain caps. Then I'll only need to rinse with AJAX once a day.
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© 2012. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Colourblind

As a child, I used to watch Sanford and Son, and didn't know that Redd Foxx was black. I think all children start out this way. Then they are corrupted by their parents. But I have tried to sustain my childhood colourblindness as an adult. I think it is one example of how we can learn from children.
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© 2012. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.